Friday, February 14, 2014


Hubby always tells people the reason he and I don't make a big deal of Valentine's is that we celebrate Valentine's day every day of the year.  I love and share that sentiment. We did go out today and get a coffee and go to World Market and bought a couple bottles of wine for company coming over this week-end. But that was it.  We do usually make each other a Valentine gift of some sort, but this year, we just did not get it done.  He was out of town all this past week, and I was sick.  The two weeks prior to that I was in Idaho and he was in Oklahoma. Plus we have been consumed by other thoughts.

Last Friday I spent the entire day, flying home from Idaho.  Sick with cold/cough, bordering on Bronchitis...Sister did get it,  but I avoided it turning into that. I huddled in the corner window seat coughing and close to tears the whole way home. I came home and cried for hours then spent the entire week-end sleeping, only waking up to cry some more, and go back to sleep.  This entire week has been pretty rocky, but I am feeling better physically at least.  Some days I can go a few hours without tears. Today I did okay.

After my Dad's funeral service, I stayed in Idaho to spend more time with my sister and Mother.  We had a lot of business to attend to and that kept us all very busy. Sister and I cried at the bank, we cried at the DMV, we cried at the Drs. office,  at the Social Security office, you name it, everywhere we went, one or the other or both ended up crying. Our Mother, bless her heart, was strong and stoic, and comforted us through it all.  I think she believes she has to be strong for her children, and to do so means not crying herself. Staying busy is helping us all to a certain degree. The folks at her assisted living place are keeping her very busy with activities and giving her a lot of support. When I spoke to her today, she wished me Happy Valentine's and said she had to go as she was getting ready to attend a Red Hat Society function at the center.  They had a Valentines dance at the center last night and she said she was tired from dancing. This woman just turned 91 and she still loves to dance.  She is doing the best she can in the situation, being without my Dad for the first time in 71 years.  I am glad she is keeping busy and not sitting in the corner of the room by herself. I can tell when talking to her though, that she is still being brave, but starting to fray around the edges.  She is grieving in her own way.

 It has been a pretty rough time for our family.    Ten days after my Dad passed, his sister Doris did also.  Then our cousin Brenda passed away a few days ago, on the 11th, after a very long battle with breast cancer.  Our family is experiencing some very sad times right now. I know we will get through them in time, but we are all pretty raw and in a lot of pain.